


Maybe, Maybe Not

by averageclawenfangirl



Category: Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: After The Park, Babies, Clawen, Comforting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 18:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7651072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averageclawenfangirl/pseuds/averageclawenfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karen gives birth to a daughter, Violet. Claire and Owen visit, and Claire worries if she and Owen will ever be able to have children of their own one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe, Maybe Not

**Author's Note:**

> This is old and I've just found it again. I was a terrible writer back then (I'm not too great now but w/e) but this is one of the pieces I'm most proud of.

Claire gasped as she dropped her phone ungracefully on the coffee table, sending it bouncing onto the hardwood floor. “Owen!” she yelled up the staircase, “it’s happening! She’s on her way!” A single text message from Zach had provided all they needed to know: _Mom’s in labour. Says you better come quick._ Claire felt a flurry of panic and excitement wash over her. If their new niece was anything like the other Dearing girls, she wasn’t about to waste her time.

Owen clattered down the stairs, tugging his Henley over his head, reaching for the jacket Claire held in her outstretched hand, a boyish grin emerging across his features. “You ready?!” He asked breathlessly, tugging Claire towards him for a moment and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “As I’ll ever be,” she murmured, and Owen chuckled as he rushed them both out of the door. 

Ever since she found her sister was pregnant, Claire had been there for every step of the way. She felt as though she had years of making up to do - missing out on Zach and Gray’s childhoods seemed absurd, now, considering how close they were as a family. Karen met Oliver through her work; and he’d swept her and the boys off their feet in the wake of Jurassic World. He and Owen got on like a house on fire, and Claire revelled in the sight of her sister the happiest she’d seen her in years. 

The baby was a beautiful accident - that’s how Karen had billed it. Gray was thrilled about the idea of a new sibling; Zach took a little more time to come around. It wasn’t until Karen found out she was having a girl that his view changed, his outlook shifted. He began to smile shyly, dimples on show whenever his baby sister was brought up in discussion. 

Owen had been a constant source of support for Karen, too. Since she’d learned of the hand he had in saving her two sons, the two of them became great friends - usually at Claire’s expense. ‘Claire Bear’ reared its ugly head from their childhood, and it stuck, both of them poking her in the ribs as they talked about her days in diapers. Though Claire pouted, secretly she was thrilled by the love that surrounded her. 

Claire would have laughed in anybody’s face a few years ago if they’d told her she’d be living - and in love - with Owen Grady. A period of twenty four hellish hours at Jurassic World had turned her life on its head; and though she and Owen still screamed at one another, though he sometimes spent a night on the couch, she never regretted a single thing, not least when she witnessed his excitement regarding his new niece.

It scared her, too. Though Owen never said it, Claire could tell he’d love nothing more than a baby of their own. He was born for fatherhood; anyone who’d seen him with the velociraptors knew that much. The right balance between love and guidance. He worked at San Diego zoo, and she’d often seen him crouch down with the children in school visits, telling them stories, making them giggle, hoisting them on his shoulders when they couldn’t see. He was perfect with Zach and Gray: helping to keep them alive that day may have contributed to the fact he was the coolest uncle alive, but he kept it going by constant Xbox reunions, and taking them out for soccer or to the movies when baby talk got a little too much, even for Gray.

Claire smiled a little sadly, now, as she saw Owen’s foot tapping impatiently as they sat in traffic on the way to the hospital. She was 33, and wouldn’t be lying if she said children hadn’t crossed her mind. She knew there was nothing wrong with not wanting them - but, there was nothing wrong with changing your mind, either. Claire just.. Wasn’t sure she was ready. _Yet._ She’d spent so long denying herself the ability to love other people, and only recently had truly let another person in to her world. And she wasn’t sure how long she could keep him waiting. 

//

“Oh, _Karen!_ ” Claire breathed, tears forming in her eyes at the sight of the brand new life laying on her sister’s chest. She had a shock of dark hair, her bright blue eyes squinting under the harsh hospital lights, skin rosy and scrunched up to her mother’s. She was absolutely beautiful. 

Karen was glowing, a smile etched upon her face. Claire and Owen had arrived at the hospital mere minutes before the baby made her entrance: Claire’s prediction had come true. Owen was out in the hallway, talking to Zach and Gray about grabbing pizza for dinner, but Claire could tell he was itching to see the little girl. “Thankyou,” Karen sighed, laying her head back on the pillow slightly. “She was a damn sight easier than the boys. Then again, they say girls always are,” she said dreamily, extending a finger to gently stroke her daughter’s nose. 

“Congratulations, Oliver!” Claire dragged herself away from the beside to embrace Karen’s partner, who’d been stood at the end of the bed, dutifully firing off text messages to other family members. “Thanks, Claire,” he smiled nervously, running his hand through his hair. “She’s just perfect, isn’t she?” He beamed, eyeing the bundle on Karen’s chest. Claire felt her heart swell a little. It was Oliver’s first child, and he looked as though he’d won the lottery. 

“Honey, I promised Zach and Gray I’d take them to the store to find something for dinner. You okay if I leave you with Claire for a while?” Oliver asked, and Karen nodded serenely. “Of course. Thankyou, sweetheart. Send Owen in here, would you? I’m sure Gray’s chewing his ear off about something or another,” she smiled fondly as Oliver leant down to press a kiss to her forehead, promising he would. It was a blissful scene, and Claire blinked back tears as she watched on. 

“Hey,” Owen said softly as he entered the room, crouching down beside Karen’s bed, eyes widening the sight of the baby. “Oh, man. She’s _gorgeous_ ,” he breathed, coming to stand next to Claire, his hand wrapping round her waist. “What’s her name going to be?” Claire asked, and Karen shrugged a little. “Violet. You know, after mom’s middle name. It took us ages to decide - Zach had the final vote. He’d liked it all along,” Karen said, the pure joy clear to read in her voice as her eyes drifted back to her baby. “Violet,” Claire echoed, smiling herself before she even knew what was happening. “I love it,” she murmured, squeezing Owen’s hand. 

“Want to hold her?” Karen asked; and Claire felt herself instinctively back away slightly, fear curling its way around her heart. Even though everybody she knew had told her countless times that what had happened at Jurassic World was _not_ her fault; the lives lost were not blood on her hands, she still felt responsibility of others hard to deal with. Even this tiny, harmless child made Claire’s throat almost close up at the thought of holding her - _looking after her_ \- for a mere moment.

Claire loved Owen for so many different reasons, but none more so than the fact he _understood_ her. He cared for her. He understood how she felt, and made no fuss. He didn’t try to rush her healing process; he was a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, words of love in her ear. He squeezed her hand lightly in reassurance. “Try and stop me,” he beamed at Karen, and gently lifted the bundle from her arms.

“Hey, beautiful,” Owen whispered, swaying his niece slightly, absent-mindedly walking toward the window, Violet’s eyes blue and blinking at this new face. “Just gonna let you know right now.. You’ve got the coolest aunt and uncle, ever. You can ask your brothers. We’re pretty stocked with band-aids, Pop Tarts.. You’re welcome for dinner whenever you want. Well, your Aunt Claire could burn water, but I make a pretty good mac and cheese,” he chuckled, as Violet wrapped a tiny finger around Owen’s, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly whilst her uncle imitated it as he laughed. 

It took Claire a lot of self-restraint not to openly clutch her heart right then and there. Owen was a hulk of a man; his biceps strong, his chest a muscled plane, his hands so much larger than her own. It was an indescribable feeling to see him alongside something so small and tender as a newborn. Even more so because it just looked so right. He looked so comfortable, so at home.. _So in love._

“God, he’s a natural, isn’t he?!” Karen laughed softly, and Claire swallowed a lump in her throat. “Sure is,” she managed to say without choking. She couldn’t bear it much longer. “I’m just gonna get some water. Want anything?” She asked Karen quietly, trying to keep her gaze away from Owen as he shifted Violet carefully in his arms, rocking her slowly. “I’m good,” Karen replied, sorting her blankets, and Claire slipped out the door. 

She gasped as a sob tore through her throat, back pressed against the door as tears slid down her face, hot and scalding as they made tracks on her skin. She wanted to give Owen the world, and she couldn’t even give him a baby. Claire felt useless, devoid of all importance. _What was wrong with her?_ Even now, after falling head over heels for Violet just as Owen had, Claire couldn’t picture herself in Karen’s position - new baby on her chest - without terror consuming her. She just wasn’t ready for it, and was unsure whether she ever would be. 

Claire composed herself slightly as two nurses rounded the corner by the door, smiling in her direction as she wiped her eyes. She slumped down on the plastic bench below the window, heart thumping as she went over what she’d have to say to Owen. Claire was certain he’d bring up the idea of their own children, now. She could see how besotted he was, and her heart splintered a little more. Owen was the love of her life, though their route had been a little unorthodox, and the idea of giving him up for a woman who could give him what he wanted was almost unbearable. 

“Claire?!” She heard Owen’s voice; and suddenly he was at her side, his arm round her shoulder, holding her close as she lost her battle with her tears. “Oh, baby, what’s the matter?” He asked softly, stroking her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple tenderly. “Owen - I,” she cleared her throat, breaking away from him a little as she ran her hands through her hair, anything to gain a little composure. “I can’t give you what you want,” she whispered, meeting his gaze, his eyes searching hers, ablaze with concern. “What are you talking about?” He murmured, eyebrows furrowing, tipping her chin towards him with one hand. “You’re everything I want,” he whispered. 

Claire smiled weakly, her teeth sinking into her lip in uncertainty. “A _baby,_ Owen. I can’t give you a baby. Not right now. I - I just don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough with myself again to do that.. To bring a life into the world. And you deserve someone who can do that for you. You deserve a child - _god,_ you’re built to be father, you deserve to be surrounded by babies,” she said, voice trembling, before Owen shook his head and tugged her close to him again. “Jesus, Claire,” he sighed, burying his face in her hair, her fingers twisting around his shirt. 

“A baby would be.. _Incredible_. I’d never deny that. But, Claire, you need to know - you come before any other desire of mine. If you’re not ready for a child now, then it’s okay. It’s _totally_ okay. If you’re never ready for a child, then that’s okay too. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, and that’ll never change. I’d follow you anywhere, you know that,” he whispered, rocking Claire against him slowly, her breath regulating as his words and his scent, the smell of their home and their life together. 

“You’re sure?” Claire asked nervously, peering up at Owen as his thumbs wiped away her tears. “Never been more sure. And, besides, I’m not ready to share you yet,” he murmured, kissing her softly. “But, I promise you, Claire. Any child in this world would be the luckiest _alive_ to have you as a mother. You can do it, if you want to. I’m starting to believe you can do anything,” Owen whispered, smiling as tears pooled in his eyes, memories of that day in the park replaying in their minds, the heels and the T-Rex that had brought them together. He tucked a strand of hair behind Claire’s ear, gazing at her intently. “You’re my hero,” he said simply, his voice cracking. 

Claire curled into his chest as Owen’s arms closed in on her, fingers rhythmically skating up and down her back as he wordlessly calmed her; as he’d done in the nightmares that had followed the park. All the while; Claire couldn’t rid her mind of a little girl, dirty blonde hair and their green eyes, grass stains on her knees, tutu round her waist, arms reaching for Owen as he lifted her into an embrace, Claire stroking her hair softly. _Maybe it would happen. Maybe it wouldn’t._ Either way, Claire felt truly blessed to go through the motions; the uncertainty, everything life could throw at them, with Owen Grady by her side. 


End file.
